I was talking to a friend recently who has been seconded for twelve months to a job in another country.
It was a very warm, sunny country. As the North East of England is not the warmest place at any time of the year I was fairly envious and started to tell her she was the luckiest person I knew.
I actually think we make our own luck and I know she has worked very hard so I was really pleased that she had this fabulous opportunity coming up. After all nothing ever seems to worry her, she is one of the most laid back people I know and I knew she would be great in the job.
We had a bit of a chat about it all, she told me how difficult the job was going to be and I said a few times “yes, but think about the weather…”
I made a joke about how much her Mum was going to miss her and she looked at me and said “Nobody has asked me how I feel about this” I started to protest and say I’d asked her…. but actually I hadn’t.
I knew her well enough to know that she would be excited and looking forward to it…. didnt I?
Well yes I did know her and she was excited but at times everyone has doubts and needs a shoulder to lean on. Unfortunately not everyone finds it easy to show their more vulnerable side. She didn’t want to talk to family about how she felt as she didn’t want them worrying about her, so I’m thankful she eventually confided in me, I just wished I’d noticed sooner that she had something on her mind.
I always look for the lesson though and for me this was a good reminder that no matter how well I think I know someone I can’t assume I know what they are thinking.
So next time something is on your mind, share it, don’t hold it in!! And don’t presume your loved ones should know what you are thinking either.