My life was a mess a few years ago and at the time it was hard to see a message but I knew there was one, there had to be…. that and my kids is what kept Julia Version 1.0 going.
It took a while but not only did I find the message I’m now calmer, more confident, more resilient, re-energised and back in control of my life… not always… sometimes things crop up in life that totally de-rail us. That happened to me recently and I spent a good few hours wallowing in self pity. How I handled this now and how I would have handled it years ago is very different.
If your life is a mess…Congratulations!!, there is a message in there especially for you.
This time I gave myself permission to have a good cry that evening and to eat lots of chocolate and drink more wine than I usually would during the week. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and asked my support community for help. All the time I was doing that though I knew that it was a temporary release and that in the morning I would use the tools and strategies I’ve learned to pick myself up and brush myself down and continue being… Julia2.0
One of the things I do to get back on track quickly is ask myself a series of questions:
What if this is an opportunity?
What if this is a hugely positive turning point in your life?
What are you avoiding because it streches your comfort zone?
What would x (a positive role model do) in this situation?
What strengths do you have that would be useful now?
What do you need to do to bring your “A game” to this situation?
How / who could you ASK for help AND ACCEPT help from?
A few year ago the message to me was that I was in the wrong job and that I needed to start looking after myself better. It was tough at the time but I learned soooooo much about myself and about becoming more resilient that I now use the experience to help support other frazzled professional women who are feeling overwhelmed, lost and probably a bit lonely.
Looking back some of the things I learned about myself are:
When something isn’t fair I fight to put it right but only if it affects others too. I don’t like injustice so will fight for others before myself.
I’m strong and confident but being in “fight” mode for too long affected my confidence, not because I wasn’t strong enough but because I’m human and didn’t know enough to balance the fight or flight response with the need to recharge and repair. Self-doubt crept in, I started to feel vulnerable, it was a viscious cycle.
When I found the tools and strategies to break that cycle I was energised and empowered.
When tackling difficult situations I have been afraid of the consequences and unknown outcome but more afraid of not trying. I always had a better outcome than expected
I’m a leader, not just at work… also at home. I say enough is enough to inspire others to do the same. I only admit that I need help / ask for help / feel vulnerable etc. to inspire others to do the same, I still find it difficult, I’m a work in progress, we are all a work in progress
I fight for others not realising that by doing so and putting myself last I’m not as effective or as good a leader (at home and at work / in business) as I can be / want to be
When I started to doubt myself I lost my identity. I was good at my job, nothing else…I thought… I was wrong
I realised that the professional me wasn’t the real me, she was only a very small part of me.
I was frightened to be someone different. Now I know that I haven’t changed I’ve just evolved into a better, happier, freer, calmer, more authentic, even more resilient version of me, like ME2.0
I learned that I impact and lead those around me not by fighting and burning myself out but by being me and leading by example
I’ve learned that I’m far from perfect but I’m enough, so are you!
I’ve learned that being vulnerable takes courage but sometimes its the right thing to do!
I’ve learned being the best version of me isn’t about being perfect it’s about being authentic and learning from everything I do (or don’t do)
I’ve learned that I love to help other frazzled professional women break the cycle so they can be the leader they want to be without putting themself last
Day One of the rest of your life is NOW!! Have you chosen what the rest of your life looks like?
I know the power of the right support and I’ve been purposely building an empowering support network for several years. Not everyone has that luxury so I have decided to gift 25 “Real You Reboot”sessions. In these complimentary 20 minute sessions I will help you to shift out of stress and self sabotage and we will explore your biggest challenge so that you discover how to be a new, improved and upgraded version of you…
You can have the time and energy to enjoy life again
Be present and focused with loved ones because when life is unravelling for you it affects everyone around you no matter how much you try to protect others
Work out how to stop self sabotage and procrastination
Be your own greatest champion
Or whatever else you need right now, even if you aren’t sure what that is
I would like to invite you, YES YOU!!! to experience one of these 25 complimentary Real You Reboot sessions (Please note, this offer is not available to anyone who has already received a complimentary session with me)
To book one of these sessions please complete this questionnaire, this allows us to jump straight in and get the maximun impact in 20 minutes
Julia Harris is The Upgrade Coach. She works with smart women who understand that the only thing holding them back from fulfilling their potential is the unhelpful thinking patterns keeping them trapped and the habits that they keep falling back into.
If you want to upgrade your life or business you start by upgrading your thoughts.
Hello Julia an excellent blog.
I like your 7 questions but have also found Paul mcgees questions useful too…where is this on a scale of 1 to 10 etc
Hope everything is resolved now mx
Thanks Margaret and yes I agree I like that question too :)