“How to forgive” is one of my favourite subjects but it’s actually not something that most people want to do BUT if you have someone in your life who you want to punch in the face or poke in the eye you need to forgive them
Ok, I get it, it’s probably the LAST thing that you want to do but you should do it anyway!
I’m not one for doing things just because we “should” do it so let me put it another way. You will feel better if you forgive them, this isn’t about them… its about you. being angry with someone eats away at YOU.
You might be asking “but Julia how can I forgive when they did X”
If you aren’t ready to forgive then that’s ok… stay angry but do it consciously, and be aware of what it is costing you. If you choose not to forgive (and yes IT IS a choice) then find a way to make peace with how you feel and accept that anger is part of being human and that you are not ready to let it go YET.
Or you could minimise the anger by actively blocking out the trigger. I was talking to a friend recently who gets very angry with a colleague. She’s normally a pretty chilled out person but one person just triggers her.
The thing is though she is triggered by what this person posts on Facebook…. duh, unfollow or unfriend her!!!!
You know who you are and it’s all said with love ;)
Oh and by the way forgiving someone does not make you weak it makes you STRONG!!
If you are ready to forgive great, for some people that is easy for others it’s not. You might even believe that you can’t forgive them but I promise you that if you want to then you can.
How To Forgive
At the risk of letting my woo-woo side out of the closet I’m going to share my 2 favourite “how to forgive” tools, they are Ho’oponopono and EFT.
Ho’oponopono is something that is super simple to do (which is why I like it), although not to spell and don’t ask me to pronounce it :) and although I could tell you what to do you would think I’m a bit bonkers and I would have trouble explaining how it works so instead I’m going to add some links to articles that explain it much better that I could. Plus I don’t believe in reinventing the wheel!!
I’ve written about EFT in a previous blog post… http://julia-harris.com/tap-into-your-emotions-with-eft check this post out then google “EFT for forgiveness” for a video to follow along to. Personally I like Brad Yates videos but find one that resonates with you, reserve judgement and give it a go
If you are anything like me you are probably very sceptical about anything like this.
I’m a qualified EFT Practitioner and I’m still sceptical but I gave up worrying about whether things made sense a long time ago when I realised that it I wanted different things out of life I needed to do different things in my life. Now I could tell you about lots of times I’ve forgiven someone that I truly wanted to punch and got a really eye opening result. Who knows maybe one day I will… but for now let me ask you who do you need to forgive?
I learned to let go of resentments when I finally understood that holding onto resentments 0was like drinking poison and hoping the other person would die I simply let it go. It’s great to be free!
Its not always easy to do but oh so worthwhile isn’t it Marla x
This is so true. I couldn’t tell you how many might’s sleep I’ve lost in the past before I realised I was the one ‘suffering’ and not the person I was angry with. Not worth bad health so I wrote a ‘mental’ letter to that person, let it all out and let it go.
Thanks Karen, that’s always a good plan to let go of something… just write it all down then rip it up :)