Never mind love and hate, there is a very fine line between fear and excitement. That’s what makes us love rollercoasters, skydiving, and fast cars!
In many situations , it is a lifesaver. It stimulates the production of the adrenaline we need to fight, or run for our lives if we find ourselves in a dangerous or threatening situation. But on the flip side, we often find ourselves self-generating fearful thoughts, in response to a situation that has not actually happened. The acronym FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real sums this up perfectly.
FEAR is simply False Evidence Appearing Real
For example, as a business owner, you could find yourself holding back from making a financial investment for fear of leaving yourself short. Or deciding against attending a networking event you’ve been invited to because you don’t know any of the other attendees and don’t want to feel weird and uncomfortable. This fear feels incredibly real to us, even though it isn’t, it’s a fear of something that might happen in the future, it has no reality in the here and now. It is this self-generated fear that can be what holds us back, or sabotages our route to success.
We need to learn to harness our fear, not give in to it. Make it work for us. In order to not be held captive by our fears we need to tackle them head on and work on strategies to deal with it… trying to ignore it only acknowledges that it already has a power and strength, which will in turn feed it.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune
The first step to getting a grip on fear is to know exactly what it is you’re afraid of.
Write down what it is that scares you and ask yourself ‘what is the worst that could happen?’
Identify the external factors, and what your subconscious is telling you. Separate the negative thoughts you are having and take away their power. Identify them as simply negative thoughts and try turning them on their head. It will take practise but the more often you consciously replace negative thoughts with positive ones, the more often it will become a subconscious habit.
Once you logically what it is that you are afraid of rather than just “feeling afraid” It’s time to take a step back. When I work 1:1 with clients I teach them to Reboot, Recharge and Refocus as a way to interupt the negative downward spiral that their mind usually takes them in.
Reboot Your Brain
This kickstarts your creativity and while you might think creativity is the last thing you need when you are feeling fear, creativity is what allows you to see potentially different outcomes to those that initially pop into your subconscious… you start to be open to the fact that maybe its no that scary after all. Remember this is all happening in a split second in your subconscious.
Recharge Your Batteries
When you recharge you not only have more physical energy, you also have more mental energy and that leads to better decision making
Refocus Your Attention
When you train yourself to focus your attention back on the task in hand then any fear that crops up that does momentarily cause self doubt won’t derail your whole day
All of these things can be done in minutes, for specific techniques get my free pdf below
Visualise a positive outcome.
Think of it as the placebo effect! Research has found that there is a relationship between body and mind; and if a person’s expectations are powerful enough, the outcome can most definitely be affected. Visualise success, give power to the positive thoughts. ‘If I build it, they will come’
Surround yourself with positive people.
External negative influences will undoubtedly impact on your state of mind. Talk about your fears with someone who will inspire you, who will help turn them on their head and approach them with positivity. Do not share them with people who don’t undestand your dreams