November 16


If it doesn’t feel right you aren’t being authentic

Isn’t it funny how we have pre conceived ideas about certain things or people

It’s half way through the “Say NO in NOvember challenge” and one of the participants kindly recommended the challenge in a Facebook group. One ladies response was…

“…as soon as anyone posts something like this, my mind just switches off and I think “these things don’t work, it’ll just be some over-positive rich woman who’s had one too many red bulls bouncing around the room telling you the only thing holding you back is yourself “

Well she was half right …

I absolutely believe that the only thing holding you back is yourself…  to believe anything else puts you into a victim mentality. I do however know that it’s not easy to stop holding yourself back , it is much, much easier to stay stuck in self doubt, fear and blaming circumstances.

Anyway the thing that I thought was funny was picturing myself bouncing round the room like I’d had too many red-bulls because that is far from me.

I used to think I needed to be like that!

When I first set up my website I knew it was important to do videos so people who were thinking about working with me could get to know me a little more. I hate having my photo taken and the thought of doing videos scared the life out of me.

But I’ve always pushed myself to do the things that scared me so did it anyway. My business coach at that time watched the videos and gave me feedback at the end of the week. 

Most of the feedback was that I needed to smile more and be more “hyped-up” Well I’ve been told often enough that I need to smile more so that wasn’t suprising. 

I tried to be more high-energy in the next few videos but it never really came off like that on camera and it certainly didn’t feel right.

Well to cut a long story short I learned that being “hyped up” just isn’t me and also that I’m passionate about being authentic.

Authentic means “of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine”

Most of us are taught to be a copy, to conform, we are taught what nice girls do, what good students do, what good daughters and good wives do. We are taught all of these things by our parents, teachers and society. 

We are taught to fit in rather than stand out. We are taught not to outshine siblings or friends, that being excited about our achievements is boastful.

Fitting in and doing what other people think is right means we are not being authentic and then we become unhappy because we are living someones elses life 


when we decide to do something that doesn’t conform like leaving a well paid job to start a business or hiring a coach or home schooling children or having pink hair or whatever…. then well meaning family and friends give us advice which we might choose to ignore but it starts to affect us… self doubt creeps in… what if they are right?

So, although I’m now at ease on camera I still don’t come across as very smiley but I no longer worry about it. I’ve realised that my energy is quite calm and people will resonate with me or they won’t,  either way is fine because I’m being authentic and my style feels right to me.


  • You were taught to doubt yourself so you can learn to ditch self doubt too
  • If something doesn’t feel right work out what would feel right
  • Don’t let preconceived ideas hold you back

Be yourself but be your best self



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Your Bigger Life with Julia Harris